1) Do You Know?

Do you know what it?s like to feel lonely?
Do you know what it?s like to feel scared?
Do you know what it?s like to have people around,
But you can?t find one who cares?

Do you know what it?s like to feel empty?
Do you know what it?s like to feel sad?
Do you know what it?s like to hurt inside,
But no one understands?

Do you know what it?s like to feel fragile?
Do you know what it?s like to feel shame?
Do you know what it?s like to have everything wrong
But you?re the only blame?

Do you know what it?s like to feel foolish?
Do you know what it?s like to feel gone?
Do you know what it?s like to cry deep inside
But you cry all night long?

I feel this way too often
I?ve cried too many nights
I?ve spent all this time in the shadows
Now I?m searching for the light.


2) Forever lost?

While looking into your eyes
my world melts away
All my troubles all my fears
dissolved by your affectionate glance
While thinking about that day
I sink down to my knees
and begin to pray
Tears stream down my face
In slow motion
I?m drifting away
not able to believe
that just the memory should stay
How could I let this happen?
I?m sorry for the pain you received
Doing this to you was the worst of my fears
the reason why I'm drowning in my tears
I?m narcotised by the pain
I think I?m going insane
My heart is aching
my body shaking
Please talk to me
?cause I want to know what?s going on
Please don?t punish me with silence
Tell me
Have I lost you forever?


3) Why?

Why do we live...?
And yet we die?
Why do we smile...?
And yet we cry?
Why do we answer...?
And yet we still ask why?
Why do we love...?
and yet we still say 'Goodbye"?


4) Why have we ever met

I dreamed about you every single night
I thought of you every single day
you made the darkness light and bright
you made the winter look like may

I thought you're the one I live for
I fell deeper in love whenever we met
I was in love more and more
you were the one who strenghten my breath

Whenever you smiled at me
it made my day much better
I thought I can call us we
I thought it wouldn't metter

I didn't know how wrong I was
I didn't know you don't feel the same
you're the fight which I loss
I will never forget your name

You've never loved me but I still love you
so why are you so kind to me
it hurts me lot it's not fair from you
there's no reason why you should be

I hate this feeling
I wanna forget
can't stand this dealing
why have we ever met..


5) On Time

Taking the years away
Breathe into the window
Watch the cloudy mist form
And while away the day

Hands fall on dusty words
Months of passage written
Between the old, old lines
Unspoken but still heard

Faces may turn cold, but eyes still burn
Look into the flames to see the light
Blooming, destroyed roses of ideas
Set the background of a century's nocturne

Immorality lies untouched
Always days away
Always just barely unattained
Perpetually in Time's brutal clutch

What would you say to burnt skin
Eyes like coals
Dancing in and out
And a malicious, twisted grin?

What would you say to Father Time?
Given one moment
That lasted forever
A chance to question an immortal crime?


6)Life's Questions

Why is it that we can't face the inevitable?
Is it our arrogance that makes us think we can change what cannot be changed,
Or are we simply afraid that these mysteries will harm us in some way?

Why do we often hate life
When instead we should be thankful for having it?
Why do we discriminate
When their life is sacred, too?

Why do we fear death?
Are we really just afraid that our life won't be the same?
Death may change our life, but isn't it really a new journey to another realm
Waiting to be discovered?

We do not know what the future holds
But maybe it's better that way;
After all, where would the excitement be
If we knew our upcoming events?

If these mysteries were solved
Would we be relieved,
Or would we wish
That they had remained a mystery?


7)Explain...

How do you explain the way I am drawn to you?
How do you explain the sadness I feel when we are apart?
How do you explain why I feel brand new?
How do you explain the feelings you have put in my heart?
How do you explain the eternal happiness I've found?
How do you explain how we have found each other?
How do you explain why love makes the world go round?
How do you explain that you are the greatest lover?
How do you explain when we touch each other the world stops?
How do you explain how our bodies fit perfectly into one?
How do you explain the look in your eyes when I'm on top?
How do you explain the way I melt each time you say "I Love you, Hun."


8) Isn't It Funny?

Isn't it funny
When we write
We talk about darkness
And never the light?

Isn't it funny
When we express
It's never about good things
Just about a mess?

Isn't it funny
When we draw
It's bad things we've seen
Not good things we saw?

Isn't it funny
When we take a look
We don't see miracles
But the life someone took?

Isn't it funny
When we speak
Never anything encouraging
But focused on the weak?

Isn't it funny
That nobody can say
They did something good
Or a wonderful deed today?

Isn't it funny
There are only a few
That have pure hearts
And forever remain true?


9) Tell Me

when you look at me
what is it that you see
are my emotions
null & void
because I am this...
bipolar
borderline personality
ADD
anxiety disorders
a medicated drama queen?
read your books
educate yourself
all the symptoms & side effects
keep it at bay:
because there is no cure.

that is what you see
when you look at me
not the sad girl
with the broken heart
from those boys who meant something
his anger lies in me.


10) Curiosity

Thinking about giving up:
Thoughts of despair,
Although I know
Tomorrow will bring
At least one smile.
Will I make it?


11) What happened

What happened to me in this life time
How did I become who I am right now in this moment.
My life is so confusing it seems like a dream.
Then you entered into it and helped me clear out all of the clutter
Then one day you left me with out a word
I don't understand why you did.

What happened to you
you and I we were suppost to be together for a while
not quite forever but at least for some time.
My life has now gone back to the mess with which you found me
I so wish that you would come back to me and help me once more.

What happened to my heart
you took my heart and never gave back
You shattered it into a million little pieces
Ground those into dust then
You scattered the dust into the wind.
It hurts any time I think of you and what you did to me.

What happened to me
Why do I deserve to be treated like this?
Why do I miss you the only person able to break my heart?

Justin I still love you for some strange reason I have no idea why but I know better now that you are not worth it.
I thank you for that because you have made me a stronger person then I have ever been.


12) Unanswered questions

What happened to the promises?
What happened to the trust?
What happened to the feeling?
Tell me, what happened to us?

Can you not see my tearstains?
Can you not hear me cry?
Can you not feel the pain I feel,
Now that you?ve said good-bye?

Do you wish things back again?
Do you regret what you said?
Do you think I can cope with this,
This battle within my head?

Will you still come and hold me?
Will you hang on my every word?
Will you listen to things I had to say,
The stories of a broken girl?

Did I not fulfil your every need?
Did I not give enough to you?
Did I not stay right by your side,
And try to help you through?

Was I not what you were looking for?
Was I not perfect enough for you?
Was I not the one you wanted to see,
When I said, I love you too?

Didn?t I know you inside out,
Much better than the rest?
Why am I still asking questions?
I clearly didn?t pass your test..


13) You

Why do I care for you so much?
Perhaps it?s because you have touched my soul
No one that I have ever known
Has affected me like you have
I often wonder why is that?
Why is it that you are in my thoughts every passing minute?
What kind of charm do you have me under?

Who are you to me?
Someone I consider my best friend
When we first met I didn?t know much about you
What you looked like, the sound of your voice
Or all your little quirks that make you who you are
Just your words on my monitor screen
That was all I needed

Where would I be now without you in my life?
I could not imagine my life without ever knowing you
Without you I would be in a much darker place
You have shown me more than I could imagine
From art, poetry and so much more
You have been my guiding light
My inspiration

Do I love you?
In more ways than I can count
As a friend you have been second to none
For that there is a special place just for you in my heart
You have more than earned my love
If you want my heart
It?s yours for the taking


14) Breathless

I don?t understand!
I have been breathless for you all my life
My stomach turns with butterflies
When you say my name
I love you so much
Why can?t I be with you?

You say that you love me
That when you love someone
It never goes away
Being in love means
You can fall out of love

I can?t let you go
I want to be with you
I can?t get you out of my head
Its like waves crashing against the rocks
Its constant, never ending

Just wanting to be with you
Holding you, sitting next to you
I don?t care about the other stuff
Those are benefits of what I feel
But do you feel the same?

I hear you sing, watch you play
See you draw or paint
I want to be the cause of your laughter
A reason for you to smile
A hope everlasting
Someone you can love unconditionally

I had a chance but I messed that up
I can?t blame you for anything you did nothing wrong
I was petty, weak and immature
I did not know the depth of your love
I let you go.

Now we both are with other people
I don?t want to be but you do
That drives me crazy
Insane with pain

I only wish you knew how many nights
I cry thinking of you
What I have done, the pain I have caused
The tears don?t stop falling
Like the start of a rainstorm
I can?t let others know

I have to hide my feelings
I always had
Why can?t I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can?t I just have you

Unconditionally
Why can?t I shout it out to the world
Why does it always have to have conditions
Secrets, hidden lies
Painful memories

You are my first love
The man of my dreams
You are becoming the man I always saw
You are better than I expected

My shame, my lack of knowledge and truth
My sinful nature
All rampaging

You always tell me I am crazy
Emotional
I am, no lies
I have never loved someone
Until you
That love was taken and only a part
was left behind

A child, a beautiful little girl
Without a father
Just like her dad
To hold and cry because I couldn?t have you

She was all my love for you
Denied, turn away from

My sacred pledge to love you forever
Unconditionally
To let you go so you could be happy
Did you find it?

How do you know that you never will?
Have you tried, I mean really tried to love me
To let it go unconditionally
Who cares what others say?
Lean on me, I can be a great support
You know this
Haven?t I shown you I love you
UNCONDITIONALLY

Haven?t I shown you, that I am there
You scare me
I don?t know the depth of your love
You don?t let me in
What are you afraid of?
Do you think that by loving me, you are losing something?

Do you think that we could cause anymore pain to one another?
Do you think that by loving me, you lose all you stand for?
Are you afraid that I will love you so much?
You asked me to marry you after 3 days of knowing me.

Why? Did you see a future?
Did I destroy it then when I said ?no??
You and I have loved one another since our eyes met
Why deny it?
Why not give it one last try, when we are both single?

All I ask is you give me one more chance to love you
UNCONDITIONALLY!


15) question ive been dying to say

what is a poem in a book,
if it's never read?
what is a mind in a body,
if it's never wed?

what is sharing,
if the other doesn't get a share?
what is caring,
if the other doesn't give a care?

what's a favor,
if it's done without a flavor?
who's a slayer,
if there's no one to act as the accuser?

what's perfect english,
when there's no such thing as slang,
or imperfection?

or inspiration,
when there's no such thing as inspired.
what's hope, if there's no wish?

a future, with nothing really to expect.


16) 7 Questions

What would you say if I said good-bye and ended all my pains?
Would you believe that I was honest?  Would say that I?m insane?

Would you care that I did it because I had no more to do?
Or would you be more interested if I did it because of you?

If I hung myself in torment?  Or drained my blood out dry?
Would you feel bad that I was gone?  Would you break down and cry?

Well? you crushed me with your ?jokes? and your hurtful taunting games.
You made me sad and angry when you teased and called me names.

And I hate you for your actions, and your cocky meaningless crap
I swear you wouldn?t care if I broke down and snapped.

It?s a fight that is unneeded it is stupid and it is dumb
Your gutless chance at glory makes you no bigger then my thumb

And I will flick you to the trashcan, where all the garbage goes
And then perhaps you?ll realize, and maybe then you?ll know.

But by the time that it happens and you see all the truth
it will be too late for me, for I took my life because of you.